not a rant but kinda.

Saturday night I went to see Top Girls by Caryl Churchill, which can be best described (not by me rather someone more..critical...) as a play that "analyzes the relationship between women and labour at opposite extremes of the possibilities available to working women..."

The opening scene - an up and coming business woman hosting an existential dinner with, among others - a female pope, a Geisha of sorts, the wife of the Marquis and a barbaric female - was rather heady and intense to say the least.

It has caused a great deal of reflection on my experiences and self-perceptions as a woman and generally of those around me. In my circle of brilliant women we:

• are VPs, Directors, Managers, Leaders, Business owners and in-demand freelancers.
• are the major income earners in our households, and when not, are at least equally compensated.
• own our own homes - many, independently.
• balance the desire for career fulfillment with that of the desire for growing a family and seem to make both work.

For my generation and the ones that will follow, I believe the line between career-goer vs caregiver though not erased, is sufficiently blurred and will continue to be so.

But for all the ladders I climb, mortgages I assume and babies I might raise (from China, Africa or because of a drunken pact I make with some male friend), I fear I will always feel an inequity amongst my peers - that my position and place in this life will lack true validation or worth until two little two words cease to apply.

Yet and Still.

• I'm still single
  
• Haven't yet met the right one.
• Haven't met anyone yet.
• She's still single
• Still single...just hasn't met the right one yet.

These two words imply there is something that needs to be achieved. That something is missing - there's an incompleteness. That the things I am most proud of mean sufficiently less until I find the one I can call my equal.

Not yet anyway.